At the end of my last conversation with Dr. Harry Owen Taylor, he said something that I couldn’t quite shake. He mentioned that technology is going to change the way we experience isolation and loneliness forever.
That’s one of those statements that sounds obvious on the surface—and then gets more uncomfortable the longer you sit with it.
Because if that’s true, the real question isn’t whether things are changing. It’s how they’re changing, and whether we’re being intentional about it or just along for the ride.
That curiosity led me into the world of parasocial relationships, and eventually into a conversation with Dr. Carol Jarzina, who has spent years studying how one-sided relationships interact with belonging, introversion, and social well-being.
What We Mean When We Say “Parasocial”
Before this, I’ll be honest—I had never heard the term parasocial relationship. I knew the feeling, though. The podcast host you feel like you know. The fictional character you obsess over.
Carol defines parasocial relationships simply and cleanly:
“Parasocial relationships are relationships we have that are one-sided… The thing that makes a parasocial relationship parasocial instead of just social is that there isn’t reciprocity.”
And that lack of reciprocity is exactly what makes them feel safe.
There’s no rejection. No awkward silence. No fear that you said the wrong thing. As Carol put it:
“If there’s no reciprocity, then there’s no rejection. And that’s a wonderful thing.”
Why They Can Help (And Why That Matters)
One thing Carol was very clear about is that parasocial relationships aren’t meant to replace real ones. She kept coming back to the idea of augmentation—adding support, not supplanting connection.
During COVID, that distinction became especially important. People in assisted living facilities, people living alone, people cut off from their usual communities leaned into parasocial connections just to feel human. Sports figures. Home shopping hosts. Fictional characters. Anything familiar and predictable.
Carol framed it this way:
“I’m only talking about helping, adding to. No one is advocating that you drop all of your real-life friendships.”
That nuance matters, because the research consistently shows parasocial interaction can help meet belonging needs—even if it doesn’t solve everything (especially, really complex things like self-worth and self-esteem).
Where Things Start to Get Messy
Here’s where I started to feel that tension.
Carol’s research shows parasocial relationships can support belonging, but they don’t necessarily improve self-esteem. In some cases, they can actually introduce new problems—especially when idealized images get involved.
Influencers. Celebrities. Hallmark-level expectations of romance. Curated perfection.
As Carol said,
“You’re expecting things in a real relationship that you get in a parasocial one—and that’s never going to happen.”
That hit home. Because once expectations get distorted, it’s not just about disappointment. It’s about how we measure ourselves against something that was never real to begin with.
Then AI Entered the Chat
And this is where everything really shifts.
AI doesn’t just broadcast—it responds. It remembers. It adapts. It feels reciprocal, even when it isn’t. From a therapeutic perspective, it could help. For people who are isolated, homebound, or need a low-risk way to practice social interaction, that matters.
Carol admitted this wasn’t something she ever imagined when she first started writing about parasocial relationships:
“When I wrote my first paper… it never occurred to me that it would be like this. That there would be AI to this extent.”
But alongside that potential are some serious questions. Especially as a parent. Especially thinking about kids growing up with systems that never push back, never disagree, never require emotional labor in return.
What happens when those interactions start shaping expectations before real-world relationships ever get a chance?
No Clean Answers — Just Better Questions
I didn’t walk away from this conversation with a conclusion. I walked away with better questions.
Parasocial relationships aren’t inherently good or bad. They’re human. They reflect our need to belong, to feel accepted, to connect without fear of rejection. Technology—and now AI—can support that need, but it can also quietly reshape it.
The work ahead isn’t about banning tools or embracing them blindly. It’s about balance. Research. Boundaries. And being honest about both the benefits and the risks.
Most of all, it’s about staying curious enough to notice when something helpful starts becoming something harmful—and having the courage to ask what we want connection to actually look like.
Stay curious.
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